5 Ways to Increase Your Self Love

There have been specific periods of my life during which I’ve struggled with self-discovery and knowing who I genuinely was as a person. Finding ways to increase your self-love isn’t always easy, especially when you’re not entirely sure why you’re suffering internally. It wasn’t exactly something I was consciously aware of at the time, but the writing was on the wall looking back at some of my past actions. I was subconsciously self-sabotaging and felt powerless to turn things around in my favour.

Despite all the best intentions, many of the articles I’ve read on this topic matter didn’t help me. The advice was often very generic when I craved step-by-step work towards goals so that I could join the self-love club. So, I’ve created this post, covering all the things and exercises for self-love that have helped me tremendously.

Know Your Personality Type

I genuinely believe that to increase your self-love, you need to know yourself – your true self. One of the most valuable pieces of information available is your MBTI type. Some will always be sceptical or consider it mere pop psychology, but personality inventory is transformative for numerous others. I’ve been able to realise whole aspects of my personality, which wouldn’t have been possible without seeing them put into words by someone else. I felt as though someone else had entered my mind’s deepest, darkest places and shown a light.

My typing is INFJ, which means introverted, intuitive, feeling and judging. Theoretically, INFJs are the rarest type, making up less than 2% of the population. Little wonder I’ve often found myself the ‘odd one out.’ The beauty is that now I can understand why I felt the way I did and have learned to appreciate my differences. MBTI has also given me a much greater understanding of others, which has led to improved and mutually respectful relationships. Gone are the days of trying to be someone I wasn’t or expecting anybody else to change so that we were more compatible.

Take the MBTI Personality Test.

Check the People in Your Life

Appearances can be deceptive, sometimes none more so than the face we choose to show to the world. Start by looking at the company you’re keeping. When you examine those around you, confusion can arise when someone says that they care about or love you, but their actions speak otherwise.

It’s important to ask yourself questions: is my energy increased or drained after spending time with this person? Or does this individual support me through difficult times and the good?

Few things can have such a devastating impact on self-esteem as keeping toxic people in your life and will undoubtedly hinder your journey towards self-discovery and unconditional self-acceptance.

Make Time for Self-Care

Self-care may seem obvious, but it’s incredible how many of us don’t prioritise this essential part of life. We often have a long list of excuses and mental reasons why completing some mundane task is more important; it’s time to realise this isn’t the case.

Take a long, uninterrupted bath, try a new makeup look, or fill your fridge with healthy and fresh foods. The goal is to learn to value yourself enough to build self-care time into your routine, which is one of the more straightforward ways to, in turn, increase your self-love.

Proper self-care also means knowing when to say no to other people and following your gut. People-pleasing is one of the most toxic habits, which will keep you firmly barred from the self-love club. It’s a common myth that putting others’ needs above your own comes from a good place; no matter your intentions, the opposite is true.

Look Within

Not just fleetingly, but take a long and hard look at your inner being. Have you considered journaling for self-love, which will enable you to clear the mental clutter? We spend so much time running around in life or trying to complete to-do lists that we often neglect working on our emotional health.

Does your subconscious heavily influence your behaviour? Are you dealing with painful and unhealed memories from your past or perhaps even childhood buried within, which others, events, or behaviour can easily trigger? No one is going to pretend that emotional healing is easy. However, left unchecked, the repercussions are significant, and self-esteem is negatively impacted. That is a given.

In good news, and linking back to the first point, I’ve found that discovering my MBTI type is a huge help in this department and one of the essential exercises for self-love. Once you know yourself and have newfound clarity, you can begin unravelling past perceptions, events, or people. Self-discovery can be a rocky path, filled with tricky pitfalls and setbacks. However, denial of emotional pain and insecurities will further damage your psyche in profound ways.

Get Creative

Once you’ve developed a stronger identity and self-love footing, creative juices start to flow naturally. Don’t shy away from your uniqueness, and embrace your authenticity. You are comparable to no one else, despite what societal conditioning may have you try to believe.

Try producing or creating something that is yours and yours alone. Perhaps you like to write or have an idea for a business? Or maybe you’ve always wanted to change the décor of your interior or try a different personal style that’s more in line with your individuality?

A firm favourite is journaling for self-love purposes. Start by listing the things you believe make you unique and any setbacks you’ve managed to overcome, despite the odds. What are your biggest goals and dreams, and what are three flaws that you accept about yourself? Silk and Sonder have compiled a comprehensive post with all the journaling prompts and questions you should be asking yourself.

Final Thoughts on Self-Discovery

When you genuinely come to know and accept yourself unconditionally, everything starts to fall into place, and life starts to become lighter as you live through your most authentic, higher self. No more trying to be the person that society conditioned you into believing you had to become to be happy and prosperous ever again. Time to question and unravel everything you’ve been told from a young age and reparent yourself with the knowledge and power you’ve come to possess.

If you found reading up on exercises for self-love and self-discovery, you may also enjoy how to let go of the past.