Do Narcissists Cry? The Hidden Truths
There are many myths circulating the question, do narcissists cry? Some will have you believe narcissists are emotionless robots, devoid of all human feelings, including hurt and pain. However, what if the answer was convoluted, and the narcissist was not the android creature society led you to believe?
Alternatively, perhaps you witnessed the narcissist fake crying and felt justifiably disturbed. Why do narcissists act in such ways, and what are they hoping to achieve with their behaviour? You wouldn’t be wrong to assume that ulterior motives sometimes play a significant part in the narcissist’s emotional display. Let’s delve into the topic of can narcissists cry genuinely, and if so, who are they upset for, and what are they hoping to gain.
Can Narcissists Cry?
Firstly, yes, most narcissists can cry. Many who have had someone with this pathology in their lives may have seen them cry when they’re in a low space, received bad news or perhaps when a pet has died. Despite commonly held beliefs, narcissists are still human beings underneath all the pieces of their damaged selves, physiologically speaking, at the very least. Narcissists possess tear ducts like everybody else, and depending on where the person lies on the narcissistic spectrum, they may cry pretty readily.
Individuals with psychopathy, on the other hand, professionally referred to as antisocial personality disorder, may find it near impossible to cry. Most psychopaths are incredibly flat affect and show little to no emotion whatsoever. People with ASPD sit at the very far end of the narcissistic spectrum. We can theorise that psychopaths, as opposed to those with NPD, suffered the narcissistic wound in childhood at such a young age that none of their true selves had the time to develop.
Despite presentation, narcissists have retained various fragments of their true selves, which is responsible for their dysfunctional and immature emotional thinking. Feelings, all of which are negative, rule the narcissist’s life and dictate their reality. This fact explains why no matter how hard you try, and will never get a narcissist to understand or see the actuality of a situation. The narcissist’s emotional pathways and brain wiring is faulty and developed this way to protect them from perceived further hurt. The unfortunate consequence is that the narcissist has no grasp on reality and mostly runs from the truth at all costs.
So, can narcissists cry? Yes, narcissists can cry, but the reasons why they’re saddened differ significantly from the causes of crying for people without narcissistic personality disorder.
Do Narcissists Feel Guilt?
Often, the average person will cry on behalf of somebody else. Perhaps they feel dispirited by difficult events another being has gone through, are suffering from a profound sense of loss or feel guilty over actions they’ve come to regret. Do narcissists cry in the same way? No, they are unlikely to cry for these reasons.
The narcissist’s rigid personality structure cannot afford them to experience these emotions. These feelings are considered dangerous territory, which could cause the narcissist to feel vulnerable or weak. To be able to feel guilt, we need to be able to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes. As time passes, the narcissist’s defences become ever more ingrained, and their ability to feel these more complex emotions becomes less and less possible. Like a muscle that never gets used, narcissists typically get more emotionally sterile with age.
In answer to do narcissists feel guilt, it’s near impossible for them to feel guilty about how their actions or behaviours may have affected another person. As narcissists live daily in absolute survival mode, they cannot afford these feelings for others and are genuinely unable to do so. The sense of guilt requires self-reflection, and the narcissist has never learnt how to address their true self healthily. Do narcissists cry out of emotional empathy for you? No, they do not. They may cry if they miss you as a narcissistic supply object which benefits them in various ways, but you will never catch a narcissist crying because they miss you for your soul.
Narcissist Fake Crying?
If you’ve ever witnessed a narcissist fake crying, you’ll know it’s one of the most chilling and disturbing things you can experience. You feel as though you’re in the room with a real-life Joker. So, why do people with this pathology resort to dysfunctional tactics and mind games?
The narcissist fake crying performance is deranged and oddly emotionally detached. When people cry, we expect to sense and see genuine anguish, so the lack of this emotion is hugely unsettling. If you’re anything like me, you may have felt like you were part of a horror film.
People with narcissistic personality disorder use fake crying as a manipulation tool and weapon. The most common scenario is when the narcissist feels that they aren’t receiving enough attention. They may cover their face with their hands and make sobbing noises, only to later reveal that their face is dry once the attention gets diverted back to them. The narcissist may stare at you, smirking once they realise that they fell for the act. At this moment, the narcissist feels a surge of power, as they now know that they can control others. Alternatively, you’re probably feeling physically sick and want to get as far away from this individual as possible.
On other occasions, the narcissist will cry for somewhat more genuine reasons. Perhaps you have told the narcissist you are leaving, or what nothing to do with them again? It’s not uncommon to see a narcissist shed a tear in this circumstance. However, the narcissist cries like a small child cries if they’ve lost a ball. People with this pathology aren’t crying for you personally and all you are; they’re crying only for themselves and how this loss may adversely affect them.
The only time a narcissist may shed real tears is when a pet dies, or they feel affected by a film or something they’re watching on television. Why is this the case? In these scenarios, there is no direct emotional threat to the narcissist. Pets or fictional characters cannot answer back, question or challenge human beings, which provides the narcissist with a sense of omnipresence. As a result, many often feel that the narcissist ‘loves’ the pet more than family. Yet, even the narcissist’s so-called love for the pet is shallow, and they commonly neglect the animal’s everyday needs.
When a Narcissist Sees You Cry
When you have a narcissist in your life, it is no surprise that you may cry more than usual. So, when a narcissist sees you cry, how do they feel? Firstly, narcissists resent observing emotions in other people. As people with this pathology rarely cry for the same reasons that other people do, it’s a stark reminder to the narcissist that they are different, and feel ostracised.
Next, in relationships of any kind, when someone is crying, the expectation is that the other person comforts the upset individual until they are no longer upset. With close to zero emotional empathy, the narcissist cannot effectively reassure others. They feel out of their depth and know this all too well. Their lack of ability to nurture comes as yet another ego wound.
Narcissists also perceive any emotional display as a weakness. People with this personality disorder only know how to bottle up their emotions and have been doing so since childhood. Being in the presence of someone crying frustrates the narcissist, and they feel that your moment of emotional weakness reflects poorly on them. The narcissist feels uncomfortable and profoundly resents association with anyone overtly displaying human feelings.
Final Thoughts On Do Narcissists Cry?
Narcissists are emotionally stunted and complex creatures. It’s not accurate to say that narcissists never cry or feel upset because, in truth, they spend their lives running from shame and negative feelings. People with this pathology are wildly sensitive to criticism and deeply fear vulnerability.
Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder don’t readily cry. The narcissist’s hurt often comes out as rage. When the narcissist glares at you with rageful black eyes, this is when someone without the disorder may be crying instead. Narcissists never develop a healthy connection with themselves and their emotions, so all of their responses are atypical and confusing to others.
Not only do narcissists have a general unwillingness to open up to others and express themselves emotionally, but they’re also unable to do so. The narcissist is profoundly emotionally disabled. Many people erroneously believe that narcissists are scared of being honest with others, and that would all change with the right amount of love. The truth isn’t as hopeful or clearcut, however. The narcissist isn’t hiding a fully formed, healthy and loving true self – it never developed.
So, can narcissists cry? Of course. Is the narcissist always fake crying? No, they’re not. Will the narcissist ever cry out of unconditional love for another person? Highly unlikely, if not impossible. And finally, will a narcissist cry for themselves? Yes, but for reasons created by their pathology and with reluctance, as they strive to keep their mask of sanity intact whatever the cost.
If you found reading up on do narcissists cry insightful, check out do narcissists know they are narcissists?
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